please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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