I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so much tequila, so little girl.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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