Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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