The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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