what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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