i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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