Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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