I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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