you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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