I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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