There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize