nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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