Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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