let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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