Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize