Already got asked if we're dating
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize