home. puking in laundry basket.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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