just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
please don't ironically join a cult
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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