if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm both gender and math confused
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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