I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
her vagine was all disorganized.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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