You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize