Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize