Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize