the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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