I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
tell me about the fingering
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