I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Farmville is her only friend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize