found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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