If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize