the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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