just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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