I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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