You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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