i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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