Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I want her autograph on my taint
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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