How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize