I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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