ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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