your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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