Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize