shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize