you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize