i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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