and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize