I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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