is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize