I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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