ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize