just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize