Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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