i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize